Hey there humans! My name is Kaiyote and I am the creator of TransTape. I was born female but never acted or felt as such. As a kid, I was a "tomboy" and I would introduce myself using a male version of my name. My mother would scold me saying that I was "a little girl not a little boy". I would always correct her and tell her she was wrong. I played baseball on the boys league until I started to develop as a girl at which point the organization forced me to stop playing. This is the age when I lost touch with myself and became very withdrawn and detached from society. Baseball was my life and without it, I didn't know who I was. I was confused as to why my body didn't look like the other boys and I was angry that I was starting to develop a large chest. I prayed every night that I would not get boobs so that I could keep playing baseball but my prayers fell upon deaf ears and they began to grow. They were painful and awkward and they didn't feel like they were ever a part of me, I just couldn't connect with them. After entering High School I gave in to society and did everything I possibly could to fit in. I tried dressing in girls clothes, getting my hair and nails done and even tried CHEERLEADING! I was so lost and confused. I felt like a foreigner in my own body. I was scared to admit to myself that I was different, although it was very apparent. After getting through High School and graduating in 1999, I still felt very uncomfortable with myself. I knew I was attracted to girls so I struggled with the feelings of shame and embarrassment of my sexuality until I finally came out as a lesbian to my friends and family. My friends expected it, as I was obviously different than them and my family rejected it, as I come from your typical white, Catholic, American family. When I was growing up, being gay or lesbian wasn't talked about and if it was, it wasn't positive. My family was judgmental and discriminatory and did not accept me for who I was. I struggled for a very long time with self doubt and worthlessness until I met the love of my life, my soulmate, my wife! Her and her family taught me what it was like to have unconditional love and to be accepted for exactly who I was, but I still felt as though something was missing. I was still very uncomfortable in my body. I hated my boobs and I couldn't tolerate the feeling of them on my body. I would break out in hysterics crying when they were touched, I never wanted them to be seen and I would get extremely angry and upset when trying to get dressed with this big chest. It wasn't until 6 years into our relationship that I finally realized that all my pain and discomfort came from the fact that I was not in the right body. My mind felt one way and my body reflected the opposite. After googling "why do I hate my breasts" and having "gender dysphoria" pop up in the search results, I knew instantly who I was! From that day on I decided to live my life as my true authentic self.
Having always hated my chest and really hating wearing a bra of any sort, I found binding to be the worst form of torture. Living in the hot, muggy climate of New England and experiencing 90-100+ degree days, binding can be unbearable and almost life-threatening on some days. I knew I couldn't put myself in danger for a system that barely works anyway. I hated the result that a binder gave me, causing the dreaded uni-boob and the annoying spillage. I found myself having to wear a sports bra under my binder to keep everything in, I was constantly pulling on myself, checking my position and tucking the big boys back in. It caused more anxiety and discomfort than it provided relief, so I gave up. I stopped binding and I tried to accept my body, but that didn't last long. I knew there had to be a better, more secure way. I remembered a tape that I had gotten at the chiropractor many years back and decided to experiment with it. It worked temporarily but it wasn't quite big enough for my chest. I went through many rolls in an attempt to find the right angle and layering that would work until I eventually decided to search for a distributor that was willing to make a tape to our specifications. We searched and searched a until we found one. TransTape comes in 2 sizes S/M and L/XL. Our S/M is 7.5 cm wide and our L/XL is 10 cm wide, the competitor only comes in 5 cm wide making coverage much easier for larger guys. Although TransTape isn't a perfect system, it's the best we've found and it's only going to get better. TransTape has changed my life and I hope it can change yours too!